I've been going through a tough time in my life lately. Every one of us has been there. Both babies crying. Missing my husband because he is gone all day to work. As soon as he gets home, I'm off to work. Stuck in a rut with my dead end serving job, hoping that one day my photography business will take off.
I just want to be the happy, caring wife and mother that I've always hoped to be.
Amidst all of the crying and yelling today, something told me to just go turn on some music and worship. I have always loved music, and listening to it puts me and a better mood most times and can lift my spirits more than anything. So I pulled up YouTube and listened to a couple of my favorite songs. I then noticed one of the suggested videos; "I Will Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns. And what better song could I have listened to?
Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face as I was rocking my 2 month old crying infant. My 2 year old came up and sat by me, and gave me a hug, saying "I'm sorry, mama." He seemed so genuinely concerned with me and wanted to let me know he was sorry for whatever he did to upset me. That's when it hit home, real hard.
This poor little boy had nothing to be sorry about. I am the one who should be sorry for failing him. Sure, life is hard, but he doesn't have to know that yet. Thank you. God, for allowing me to hear such a powerful message in a song. I will praise you in this storm, for I know it is you that will reach down and wipe my tears away. Please continue to help me with my depression, anxiety, and anger. I want my husband and children to remember me as a happy, caring, and loving mother. Not a sad, lonely mother who is always yelling about the little things that bother her.
